Anna, 50, had been married to Tom, 51, for 20 years when he started spending all his free time in the garden shed, never wanting to socialise or talk to her.As for their once-healthy sex life, now Tom made every excuse not to be intimate. He also became increasingly defensive, blaming stress, work and even Anna for putting on weight and prioritising their children.
She wondered if he was having an affair but that made no sense because he was always at home. Two years later, Anna finally discovered the real reason for Tom's behaviour.
An unusual transaction on their shared credit card turned out to be a payment to an internet sex site. Anna, accessing Tom's browsing history, followed an online trail only to discover he had been watching porn for several hours every day, even when he was allegedly working.
We've heard a lot about the dangers of internet porn - how it's negatively affecting children and preventing young men from developing healthy sexual relationships. What is rarely spoken about is how many middle-aged and older people are also affected.
In the UK, thousands of men over 40 are addicted to pornography, and it's clear to me as a sex and relationship therapist that this addiction is destroying sex lives and marriages. While I've been practising for 30 years, 15 years ago I started to see more and more men seeking help.
This addiction is not about the volume of porn viewed but using it to the extent that it's causing significant problems in a person's life and relationship. And then, despite these problems, they are unable to stop.
Which is why I now specialise in sex and porn addiction, providing counselling to both the addicted and non-addicted partner, as well as running groups and helping couples rebuild trust and intimacy.
Therapist Dr Paula Hall specialises in sex and porn addiction, providing counselling to both the addicted and non-addicted partner
The International Sex Survey of 2021 revealed that nearly 100million may be addicted to porn